BENCHED AGAIN!!!!!!

September Eighth,2006 -got a release finally from SFI(abc ODC).Again back to the BENCH...this time with
a purpose , but somewhere something went wrong -yea its the calculation! The deadline of the project was
met quite early than it was meant to be... Why so? Who knows. I have no work to do in that project so i was released as per the rule to the CoRCC (C0 something something resource co-ordination committe) where hundreds of people are supposed to be jobless.
Wait !! wanna roll back to the miscalculation part i forgot mentioning about, i thought that the module would get over only by ' 20th october' and i planned to get a release somehow from the project then and sit on the lousy bench till 'Ravi' (my bro) comes from the royal US in the last week of November. Once he is in the city i wanted to take a leave for atleast 15 days, but , the module got over too early i.e 'Aug 31st' to my bad luck and i was released on 8th of September. Its been two months now that i've been on that cold bench and by the time Ravi comes into the picture,* dogs * would be searching for me to drag me into some project......coz Bench(Business wait) is not my momz house that i can stay there for months together.,some -Bull dogs- called HRs and --Blood hounds-- called PMs would want resources in the projects.......Already i got couple of calls which i somehow managed to reject in a couple of ways , but , the nets are getting closer n closer day by day. Next para!!!
One goose who got released along with me from the previous project couldn't bear the tension of being caught by some wild dogs ,so he surrendered himself to a mongrel at bhuvaneswar. Now the mongrel is about to train the goose for a slog@dog.com ... (slog at the rate of dog .com ) . Once again i managed to slip this one...though the goose lured me so much to join the project that i gave in at a point of time , the mongrel already had too many pple in his project, so ,i am safe. Meanwhile i participated in a technical training program for 15 days to block my status in the availability list of people for projects.......but the training got over this wednesday and now iam back in the pool waiting to be bitten!!!!!
Personal Life has not changed much....but yea..movies at one end ,week ends at the other end are keeping me busy. Now n then i have time to attend cat classes.......(one more veternary stuff). * To be continued later*

The Self Speaks......

Marching down the dunes,
crossing the faded lines of identity
a moment lived longer enough in my space
as secured .....as in peace

Therez the door, therez the path,
as new as the old
a chance , a speculation
for the self to rise,
a stranger waiting in this path of light

Flying in warm blue skies
the rainbow traces the rain,
So does the mind...
as a rover in course of time.

We gather , we build
nestling in the furnished wants,
cult in our own ways
Yet, life takes the invisible breath
to make us live in need ,desire
wandering in the same world of thirst.
cult in its own ways.
A ray to the future
not in the palm of fate,
is the trust in the seed
for the reasons unknown
speaks the soul,
Cult in its own way..

But then, Why does life struggle in its own hands?
Coz , the rose makes its own thorns. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Why shouldn't i?

I know not - why am i writing? . But, i dont know 'why shouldn't I ? '
If the purpose is to erase the white blankness of the mind by colouring this page with black letters, Let it be. If it is to kill the burning silence in the heart for unknown reasons,Let it be. If it is to harness the freedom of tomorrow, Let it be.....................i am writing.Why shouldn't I?

The page stays on,in the color intended,
to welcome the untold,
to see what it unfolds,
But then , what is the meaning it holds?

Nevertheless,
I write in lines of the thoughts that questions me ,
In words that urge me,
In sense that follows me,
But then, do i write for what you ask me?

You see, but a drop in the unseen rain.
A memoir of life...Written ,unspoken.
An old verse....sung uncomposed
But then, why is it still unheard?

Coz,
Once upon a time it was told in glee,
Writing is a want to run free.......
An expression unlaced,
A literary form unchased.

But then...... why am i writing . Shouldn't i?

Way down...........

I played -day and night
the games which made me win,
I wished- the gift came unasked .

He remained in silence.

I ran around-caught in the youthful pep,
clasped by hidden care,Uncluttered.
I showed -the flaw went unnoticed,
garbed in the grace of light.
I went -along the way that called,
lost the path that questions the odd.

He left the trace between my broken thoughts

A voice whispered,
I denied , the fact walked past.
A desire grew up,
I flirted ,the ethics went lost.
The good came to talk,
I fought , a flare blew up.

He let the storm befall

I feared - the pride froze
to flakes of shame.
I prayed the might i have,
it never came back.
I fell down , shattered
in the pool of tears ....................
Which taught me all the lessons

One day.......

The hollowness is widening around me,
demarcating the webs of relation.
waves of celestial spirits
are now the rays tearing the web.

reverberating memories shimmering
behind the fearful voices within my innerself,
where my languishing heart crave for solace.....

beloved people promise to give refuge
with soft concealed words,
but..... now they throw shadows
that nourishes grief in me.

few said-
i mirror their very being and they do mine,
now they gape into this mirror yelling"there is a stranger in the mirror"
few spoke -
that they strive to heal me,brighten my living.....
but....now they cast away me to an old lamp
where i still breath in the silence of the lamp........
few vowed-
to sow the seeds of togetherness in sharing my sorrows,
now they plough their own land,
to carve their happiness in the seasons of harvest
where my tender heart sobbed in lonliness..........

i was taken away by a maze of words from the ones i cared for......
where my form shattered to nothingness yet remains
chunks of the bitterness in the deep sullen-skies of life.

iam casted away to an exile of darkness..............

~"voices in darkness"

Iam the son of darkness,
you are the sons of disguised brightness.
i build shrines of beautiful nights for you,
you dig graveyards of cavern obscurity for me....
yet you find yourself emerging out of it every morning .......

Darkness is eternity
in which spasm of light is sprinkled,
you glorify me but with envy.
Oh!! children of brightness
look beyond the horizons of your vision.
the enormous unioverse is entrenched in this cold darkness......

I gift you with sweet dreams in the night
to wipe off the chaos of the day,
you reflect eerie smiles in the air
astounded at my tranquility.

I live in peace and silence
when you rustle restlessly through the day
and fade into me at nights.......
Every day of yours is born from me,
but you burn my effigy with candles of light

The wisdom of my race deciphered
the follies in your remorseless crimes,
which flickers with pride that light paces with divines magnitude

Then why does it find darkness everywhere
before it envisages its own destiny?

aeons to pass by,
before the sun merges into space
and earth dooms with cries of mother nature
prepare to die and follow me
whence this immortal did rise

till then i sleep beyond
"every sunrise
and every sunset............."